Since my last post, a lot has happened... Sadie was off of her medicine for roughly a month, so naturally we got into a routine of what normal life would be like... then came the reality of the first Immiticide shot on Tuesday. So true in real life how we get into our set routines and then dread the looming reality that lies ahead. In my efforts of learning new things everyday, I'm hoping we can all learn to ACCEPT the truth of the future as it is... as it is for a reason. Dropping Sadie off at the vet Tuesday was probably one of the most difficult thing I've done lately (and I've been through a lot of difficult situations). The vet literally had to pry her out of my lap and I kept my composure until the minute I opened the door to leave..at which point the tears starting flooding... and had barely hit my cheek before my cell phone rang and it was work with a crisis (and my phone not having service to allow me to make the next much needed phone calls). Just seemed like one stressful factor after another, and then all of a sudden I had thoughts about how I had just paid hundreds of dollars to momentarily inject arsenic into my dog's bloodstream, and the pain she was about to endure... and then after all of the negative thoughts, had a moment of clarity to realize the simplicity of the reason that Sadie was finally at the vet... to get handed a new life, but not without a struggle. Oh the things we can learn!
I had no idea what to expect in the days after the first injection and all I can say is this is one tough dog! She's certainly not going down without a fight and even though I can tell she doesn't feel well, she still does everything in her power to show me her love and excitement each and every day without complaint. I have to admit I'm the one coming home complaining to her about my horrible day at work and then feeling bad because after all, she's the one not able to tell me how bad she feels or what she needs... she's just trusting enough to know I'll be there for her. Such awesome unconditional love.
So on that note, as I will for the next 60 days, I'm going to take her out to go to the bathroom restrained to a leash as to not cause any spike in her heartrate or unexpected excitement. We'll come inside to her disapointment and I'll explain that I don't like the circumstances either, and that it makes me sad that I can't let her run free (and get abnormally anxious at each passing species of life). I already can't wait for the day that I take the leash off and let her experience her new life to it's fullest potential.. maybe something we all need to dream for. Until then, the looming reality of the steps we need to take to acheive this dream. One day at a time, enjoying every moment together.
