So I have to admit that I gave up on my blog after the universe decided to erase my pictures... not sure what happened, but I've decided that in the theme of Sadie's story, I'm not going to give up!  Trying to post again and hoping it will work... and honestly had no idea the outpouring of support for Sadie's blog! (and those of you that missed it)

Since my last post, a lot has happened... Sadie was off of her medicine for roughly a month, so naturally we got into a routine of what normal life would be like... then came the reality of the first Immiticide shot on Tuesday.  So true in real life how we get into our set routines and then dread the looming reality that lies ahead.  In my efforts of learning new things everyday, I'm hoping we can all learn to ACCEPT the truth of the future as it is... as it is for a reason.  Dropping Sadie off at the vet Tuesday was probably one of the most difficult thing I've done lately (and I've been through a lot of difficult situations).  The vet literally had to pry her out of my lap and I kept my composure until the minute I opened the door to leave..at which point the tears starting flooding... and had barely hit my cheek before my cell phone rang and it was work with a crisis (and my phone not having service to allow me to make the next much needed phone calls).  Just seemed like one stressful factor after another, and then all of a sudden I had thoughts about how I had just paid hundreds of dollars to momentarily inject arsenic into my dog's bloodstream, and the pain she was about to endure... and then after all of the negative thoughts, had a moment of clarity to realize the simplicity of the reason that Sadie was finally at the vet... to get handed a new life, but not without a struggle.  Oh the things we can learn!

I had no idea what to expect in the days after the first injection and all I can say is this is one tough dog!  She's certainly not going down without a fight and even though I can tell she doesn't feel well, she still does everything in her power to show me her love and excitement each and every day without complaint.  I have to admit I'm the one coming home complaining to her about my horrible day at work and then feeling bad because after all, she's the one not able to tell me how bad she feels or what she needs... she's just trusting enough to know I'll be there for her.  Such awesome unconditional love.

So on that note, as I will for the next 60 days, I'm going to take her out to go to the bathroom restrained to a leash as to not cause any spike in her heartrate or unexpected excitement.  We'll come inside to her disapointment and I'll explain that I don't like the circumstances either, and that it makes me sad that I can't let her run free (and get abnormally anxious at each passing species of life).  I already can't wait for the day that I take the leash off and let her experience her new life to it's fullest potential.. maybe something we all need to dream for.  Until then, the looming reality of the steps we need to take to acheive this dream.  One day at a time, enjoying every moment together.

What a week!  And it's only Tuesday (and I had Monday off, ha).  Took a few days this past weekend to enjoy my birthday and take some time off work... if you consider working from home taking time off.  Unfortunately Friday I did nothing but watch the depressing news all day and was really hit with the feelings of how thankful we all should be every single day for what we have... unfortunate that it takes instances like Friday for our communities to come together and outwardly celebrate how precious life is.  Since Friday I've been trying to make it a point to consciously realize how trivial my troubles are and know that God has a purpose for everything... and we should celebrate the eternal love given to us each and every day.  In some ways, Sadie signifies for me that there is a purpose for everything and that strength is found within. 

Over the weekend, I was really feeling lonely and having a hard time sleeping.  As usual, Sadie must have known, and I woke up in the morning to my arm asleep... and Sadie literally sleeping in my arms on top of me.

Not sure who looks more tired here but we finally both had a good night's sleep :)  Good thing Sadie doesn't have stinky dog breath!

Exciting news on the heartworms front... tomorrow is the last day of medicine for the next 30 days (before her first Immiticde treatments).  The medicine definitely gets the best of her some days, and she turns almost manic.  Unfortunately this usually happens during the middle of the night or early morning, so I'm looking forward to the next 30 days of normal Sadie (whatever that is).  It's taken a bit of time, but Sadie's also finally gaining some weight and LOVING food.  The first few weeks, it took everything in my power to get her to eat and now she can't get enough!  To the point that she's become a begger, and the second you have food in your hand, there's the chance she may try to dance with you :) (don't tell her I said so, but she definitely has two left feet!)

As I reported before, Sadie definitely has a neighborhood boyfriend.  She hears him bark each morning from bed and insists on barking back.  Tonight Sadie and I ate dinner outside together and the barking between yards ensued... so I took her down to see him and as you can see, Sadie just glows around him :)

After a little play time, we are both spent and ready for bed.  Until next time... don't forget to be thankful tomorrow, tell someone how much you love them, and do something nice for a stranger.  Never know how something so unexpected can change a person's day... or life.

Another week has passed, meaning another week of forward progress.  I've been so busy with work that I typically just come home later in the evening and hang out with Sadie... She's definitely getting more into her routine and comfort in knowing this is her house (I just pay rent).  She's had a few irritable nights from the medicine, and even had an accident in bed :(  but how do you get mad at this face?

Funny story... a few days ago I took Sadie in the car with me and she had her first fast food drive through experience... When the lady started taking my order, Sadie couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from and continually barked so loud we couldn't understand each other.  Still lots to learn here!

I'm also happy to report that Sadie now has a boyfriend down the street... will work on getting a picture of them together but he's the only dog Sadie doesn't bark at.  Every time I take her for a walk, she drags me up to the fence.  Pretty darn cute.

So throughout my daily interactions at the house, Sadie continues to insist on following every step I take.  I've been pretty close to either stepping on her or tripping over her probably once every ten minutes!  We decided to have a girl's day yesterday morning and did our own pedicures.  Sadie went with black nail polish... :)

On a more serious note, as I expressed a few posts ago, the response to the trials I'm going through at the moment have been so overwhelming.. Family sending money, friends I haven't talked to in 10 plus years coming out of the woodworks.. I just want to take the opportunity to thank each and every one of you reading this.  I truly believe everything happens for a reason and Said has certainly touched my life in a way I couldn't even imagine in a very short amount of time.  Her strength made me reach out on a limb this past week and do something outside of my comfort zone.  I've been inviting probably the least likely person you could ever invite to church for the last 8 months and he finally came this past weekend... to say it was all a part of God's plan seems like an understatement to me.  There was a very specific reason for all of the puzzle pieces that fell together for us to be sitting in church yesterday.  Nothing like feeling the grace of God pouring over you.  These moments continue to make the hardships easier and easier to deal with... in focusing on all of the positive and encouraging gifts that He is blessing me with each day.  Can't help but think of how much Sadie proves these gifts each morning when I haven't even set foot outside of my bed.

On that note, I think it's our bedtime Sadie!

Some time has passed since my last post and honestly I feel like my world has been thrown off by the 4^th of July falling on a Wednesday.  Just felt like an “off week.”  I’ve taken on some extra responsibility at work (basically another full time job) and I’ve just been exhausted by the time I get home.  I crawl into bed each night to Sadie wanting to be playful, and not understanding the irony behind the notion that she isn’t supposed to be… and I’m too tired to be!  This is the face I go to bed to… And sometimes it takes 15 minutes before she’ll even lie down or move!  Never thought I’d say it feels uncomfortable trying to fall asleep with a dog hovering over you…

The 4^th of July came and went.. and was over before I blinked it seemed.  Had a great day with Sadie visiting family and just relaxing.  Sadie informed me that the 4^th of July was her favorite holiday (most likely because of her intuition that it’s my favorite holiday), so I did my best to make sure everyone knew it J

Outside of work, I’ve had many invitations to go out and be social.. but by the time I get home, I’m not sure if it’s the lack of energy or the guilt of leaving Sadie at home all day that keeps me here with her (i.e. not spending money and not making poor decisions).  We’ve been shacking up and watching movies together..it’s really more exhausting than you would think with the A.D.D. of a dog, leaving the room every few seconds to get some water and then me having to explain what she missed in the movie!  Sheesh, the nerve of dogs!

The last few days have been full of rain and storms, much needed here in Colorado!  So blessed that God must be emotional and his tears are giving peace to the wildfires… just another piece in the puzzle of life in which everything always comes together.  None the less, I happen to love rain more than most… so after discovering Sadie’s absolute hatred for thunder, last night we spent some quality time laying in the yard in the pouring down rain and lightning, finding comfort in each other and staring up into God’s amazing space he has provided for us.  Was a defining moment in which it felt like we were together in the snowglobe of life with God watching us looking up at him in wonderment and amazement. 

And here we are tonight… on a Saturday night doing laundry and making dinner (Sadie actually got a little of my homemade onion and cheddar stuffed burger tonight, so I think she’s a much bigger fan of cooking at home when she gets to partake in the meal).  The thunder and rain has yet again led to us spending an evening in the peace and quiet of not entertaining all of the offers to go out on the town… a decision I’m sure to be happy I made in the morning, and in the mean time am going to enjoy another movie with my best friend J  Until next time…

Overall,  it's been a pretty good low-key weekend here for Sadie and I.  Unfortnately I've had to go into work both days, so Sadie decided to lend a hand to the scheduling world :)

Was actually really nice to have her at work with me.  I think she also enjoyed the all day company, not to mention getting out of the house!  Last night was the first evening I went out, leaving Sadie at home.  Felt like a mother dropping their child at school for the first time... worried all evening about her!  Most of all because of all of the medicine she's on, she's drinking SO much water... leading to needing to go out more frequently.  And we all know how bad it is when you're on a long car trip with no restroom!  Can't imagine feeling that way in your own house, ha.  So upon my return last night, I spent some good quality time on the floor with her (also working on "shake", but that'll be for another day).

Today after work, I went to visit a good friend and brought Sadie in the car for a little excitement.  She's always so good in the back of the car, that I decided to put part of the back seat down to see if she's put her head out the window/make her way to the front of the car... Within minutes, I had an instant visitor in the front of the car that caught me by surprise!

I was stuck in traffic and within minutes, Sadie was falling all over the place (into my lap, across the cup holders) to end up here..

With leather seats and her not wanting to cooperate, i had to pull over and be the parent... constraining her to the back of the car once again.  Some things we still have yet to learn! 

Off to enjoy our Sunday night and descend upon week 2 of healing hearts!  Only up to go :)

First of all, I want to say the response to Sadie and myself has been unexpected and overwhelming.  The range of emotions over the last few days has been unexplainable… from the unknown situation of Sadie’s heartworms and recovery with thinking the worst, to imaginging a healthy life together full of dreams and moving forward.  I’ve come to realize that thinking postively is the only constructive way right now and that everything happens for a reason according to God’s plan.

On Tuesday, we had a vet appointment to set Sadie’s recovery plan, as well as see how bad the heart worms are.  I was overjoyed to learn that my vet cares about Sadie as much as I do, to the point that she was willing to waive some fees because of my current situation and the treatment that Sadie needs in her professional opinion.  After chest x-rays, blood work, and a urinalysis, we now have a rigorous treatment plan.  I could go into all of the details of the daily medicine regimine, restricted exercise, Immiticide plan.. however in the theme of moving forward, the only important piece of information at this point is that if all goes as planned, October 24 would be Sadie’s appointment to determine the worms are defeated and it is time to move forward with new life J  118 days… but who’s counting!

Due to the nature of the recovery plan, unfortunately I also had to say goodbye (hopefully temporarily) to the coolest, most loving cat in the world Shooter.  Sadie and Shooter haven’t quite mastered co-existing in this world together, so Shooter is currently living at my dad’s house where she will receive much more attention that I can currently give her.  If you would have told me that I’d have to pick between a dog and Shooter someday, I’d say there would be no dog.. but maybe that’s why we can’t predict the future.

On a totally different note, for those of you that know what I do for a living, calendars come… well let’s just say naturally (and no I have not programmed Sadie’s treatment and medicine schedule into EBMS).  However, after dealing with dates and times all day, I found it fun and therapeutic to put together the following calendar detailing every step of the process (not to mention, I don’t have to think now J)

So in the meantime, while we might only be on day 3 of recovery, we have a lot to be thankful for… the opportunity to enjoy every moment spent together, and most importantly listen to what God has in store for us.  So tonight, He had in mind some time well spent in the kitchen… Sadie still has some cooking skills to learn instead of sleeping in the middle of the not so big kitchen, but I’m convinced that will come with time.  Frank Sinatra, red wine, and quite possibly the best roasted garlic, white cheddar mashed potatoes with a thyme au jus ever created! 

 While Sadie isn’t participating in the tasting process, we are enjoying watching a taped version of today’s Germany vs Italy soccer game (don’t tell me who wins!!!!)

While thinking about wrapping up the evening, my current thoughts are based on new information I received about Sadie today.  The radiologist that reviewd the chest xrays found enough scar tissue on Sadie’s left ribs to know that she suffered from chronic rib fractures that were never treated… leading them to believe there was some sort of abuse or trama in her previous life.  I become sad and angry thinking who could have put this animal through torture, but come back to the notion that all of this negativity is in the past and I’m just so fortunate that she’s not too traumatized to accept love and compassion with open arms (or mouth with tongue hanging out and wagging tail).. and not just accept love, but show it outwardly with no expectations or understanding of what she’ll get in return.  Maybe we humans still have a lot to learn…

As I find myself embarking on the most difficult journey of my life, something magical came into my life... her name is Sadie... This is the beginning chapter of what I hope to be an everlasting novel. Sadie picked me, and I found out very quickly for a reason, much greater than I could have ever imagined.

On Wednesday June 13, 2012 Sadie picked me at the Foothills Animal Shelter. All it took was one look into those deep brown eyes, and I knew I was taking her home with me. The love she exhibited stole my heart from the moment we were in the same room... a love I so desperately find myself needing these days. I went into this journey saying I wanted to give a dog what I need most right now, new life, love, and companionship.

I come to find out a week later that Sadie tested positive for heart worms. We've all heard about heartworm prevention, no doubt, and I had the same immediate reaction that most everyone I know had...you can give her some pills, and she'll be fine, right?  I quickly learned that my new best friend could be potentially really sick... and most of all, needs someone to provide the expensive and extensive help she so desperately needs... Maybe after all, why she picked me.

At this point, only hundreds of dollars in, we both have a long journey ahead of us. 20 mg of Prednisone a day and 400 mg of Doxycycline a day seem simple compared to the injections to come 60 and 90 days from now. Worst of all, we are pretty much homebound for the next 5 months with little to no exercise allowed while Sadie's heart heals.  I welcome you to join us on this journey of two healing hearts and all of the lessons to be learned between two of God's creatures that were brought together for a reason greater than we can ever imagine.

"Therefore we do not lost heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18